My Preferred Nickname is Barbie.
This nickname has extensive historical precedent as a nickname of Barbara (or in my case, Barbra). Yet common 20th Century cultural experiences have left many with uncomfortable or negative feelings and associations when encountering this usage.
Many people don't believe my preference at first. They would choose a different nickname. They try to call me Barb. I gently and firmly inform them that I do not identify as Barb, but rather as Barbra or Barbie. When they use the name Barb, I do not recognize myself.
Many of my aunts and uncles call me Barb. I choose to allow this for certain people who have shown in a myriad other ways that they acknowledge and accept who I am. This does not mean I accept the same nickname from others.
Some people are uncomfortable using the name Barbie. Many choose to avoid nicking my name altogether and always refer to me as Barbra. That is fine. Nicknames are shortcuts of speech. They are not required for effective communication, only for efficient communication. Sometimes efficiency is overrated.
Others uncomfortable with the name Barbie will try. I can hear their hesitancies and self-corrections. I can also hear when the hesitancies shorten, the self-corrections grow fewer, and their comfort increases. I appreciate and thank them for that.
When someone calls me Barbie-Wheres-Ken, that person temporarily ceases to exist for me. We all know it was intentional and disrespectful. He/she/they/zie/tey may attempt to pass it off as a joke. It takes only the merest instant of thought to realize it is obvious, unoriginal, and non-creative, therefore not funny.
Sometimes friends find a new, creative spin on our societal associations with my nickname. In these cases, I choose to accept, and even appreciate, these friendly moments when they come from individuals whom I know recognize and acknowledge my humanity and dignity.
Despite all of this, not once -- to my knowledge not one single time -- has anyone outright denied my right to my Preferred Nickname. I hope that someday soon, this final statement of my Pronoun Analogy will fit as truthfully as the rest.
